I was always been the go-to person for everyone, my family, friends, even at work. I thought it made me strong, but lately I feel like a hollowed-out shell. I said yes to organizing my friends baby shower last week while I was barely keeping my own head above water, and I just cried in my car afterwards. I am realizing I dont even know what I want anymore. Can you suggest something for me to bring up about this need for constant validation and setting boundaries.
That "hollowed-out shell" feeling is a brutal wake-up call, and I totally get it. I used to run myself into the ground the same way, until I completely burned out planning a friend?s elaborate engagement party that I didn't even have the energy to enjoy. It?s like we?re taught that being the rock is a strength, but no one tells you that even rocks erode. That need for validation is a sneaky trap. It feels so good to be needed until your own needs just... disappear. Starting with the simple, brave admission of "I don't know what I want" is the first step back to yourself. If you're not sure where to even begin unpacking it all, I found a really straightforward list of things to talk about in therapy and the first few points hit home hard on people-pleasing and self-worth. It?s not an ad, just a genuinely useful starting point for organizing your thoughts. Rooting for you.
