Originally Posted by
gratefool1
I am working on a coffee table book tentatively entitled "Footing: An Artful Pictorial of an Idiot's Pain", in which I reveal slightly touched up photos of my bird hanging on to my fingers, hands, arms, head, etc. The touch ups will simply be to enlarge the talons a tad so my wife won't think I am such a wimp complaining about "those little punctures"... The cover will be painted in my own blood...
In it I will describe the absolute best ways of positioning your hands at just the opportune times to ensure maximum damage and the most staggering pain. I will also have an appendix on important alternatives about what to do when the hand is too swollen to type, or what different antibiotics taste like...
Should be a hit in my target demographic of masochists with an IQ under 70...